Flask of Choice: Tim Couch Commemorative Maker’s Mark Bottle

by Cleveland Frowns on March 22, 2012

Browns receiver tackled on a three-yard out on 3rd-and-5 … DRINK! Mike Holmgren talking retirement plans on Seattle radio again … DRINK! Randy Lerner’s plane touches down in Hamptons airport … DRINK! Pat Shurmur post-game presser … GLUG, GLUG, GLUG, GLUG, GLUG. BATTLED.

And in how much more style than with this beauty? A limited edition Tim Couch commemorative bottle from Maker’s Mark, proceeds from which will go to the Gill Heart Institute at University of Kentucky’s hospital.

If Lerner had any sense of humanity at all, he’d buy the whole run and distribute to season ticket holders. What better conduit to re-deliver some of the innocent hope of the days before Couch traded the blue and white for orange and brown? Just like it’s not your fault, it really wasn’t Tim’s, either. And you won’t want to toss this gem at your TV. That the proceeds will go to help fix broken hearts makes it too perfect.

If someone really wants to class up this year’s draft party … 

… In other news, a good friend posted this phenomenal must-watch Lawrence Vickers video on YouTube … DRINK!

One writer says agents for three top-ten NFL draft picks have told him they don’t want to end up in Cleveland … DRINK!

And just in time to help you through the final push of your Lenten austerity programme, the Lake County Captains have introduced the Moby Dick, a three pound fried fish sandwich.

Which is all for today. Will have an extra fun springtime Friday special tomorrow unless something crazy happens.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOi3yAdqTYA PittsburghisforManLovers

    How scary would a backfield of Vickers and Hillis been? Oh wait, we had that and it was awesome. Bottoms Up.

    • Anonymous

      I would “Like” this comment but for the fact that it put me back in my dark place again.

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOi3yAdqTYA PittsburghisforManLovers

        You call it a dark place, I call it racism.

        • Anonymous

          You are very Linsightful.

          • acto

            CLTIL,
            Extra points for an atrocious word play!

    • Sneeda

      Vickers and Richardson may be better.

      • Sneeda

        oh wait, forgot we don’t have Vickers. DRINK

        maybe vickers + hillis = richardson

        my gut tells me we are taking trent…just preparing myself i guess. let him be our #1 or is CLE not cool enough for a bama boy?

  • https://twitter.com/jimkanicki jimkanicki

    i dont mind sharing that im the friend who uploaded a copy of that old vickers interview. (appreciate your discretion frowner.)

    what’s interesting is that someone in dallas linked to it and it got relinked all the up to dallascowboys.com. so check out the comments from the cowboys fans. they’re loving the backfield of vickers in front of murray. in youtube you can ‘word cloud’ the comments section. two of the most repeated words are ‘leader’ and ‘moose.’

  • Anonymous

    i had a great twitter interaction with said “one writer” you mentioned, Matt Miller (@nfldraftscout)

    @biki024: @WFNYScott Is it me or does @nfldraftscout not only have great inside NFL contacts but striking resemblance to John Clayton? brothers??

    his response:
    @nfldraftscout: @biki024 @WFNYScott Ouch! That one cut deep.

  • http://www.clevelandbrownsreport.info/ BrownsReport

    Haha–wonderful article, defines the reasoning why Browns fans must crack a twelve pack before thinking about watching the Browns perform on the field.

  • Anonymous

    That Vickers video makes me want to cry.

    • Anonymous

      DRINK!

      • Anonymous

        I would have, but I had to study for a pharm exam. Covering antidepressants.

        #Irony

  • Jim

    That story regarding three top-ten players not wanting to play for the Browns seems off. From what I read, said players’ reasoning was something along the lines of the Browns trading down the past few years. Why would that matter to a prospective player? It doesn’t reall provide evidence that the Browns are “cheap” nor would it affect a future player’s compensation if the Browns selected him at number four.

    There are many reasons why I could understand a top-ten player not wanting to play for the Browns (franchise instability, coaching issues, etc.), but the Browns trading down in past drafts is not one of them.

    • manc

      Agree on the trading down, but all the other stuff that’s come out about free agents not wanting to play here b/c of the organization and Holmgren, the FO being lazy, agents not wanting their clients here (the Bleacher Report stuff that melted car radios earlier this week) ABSOLUTELY rings true.

  • Anonymous

    In one of the longer passing sessions at a Pro Day in recent memory, Griffin completed 76-of-82 throws with four drops and two incompletions. He wasn’t perfect, but he was darn close, taking full command of the workout. Quarterback guru Terry Shea scripted the throws, but Griffin did the rest, even selecting the music that was blasted throughout the facility. The Heisman Trophy winner looked comfortable throwing the ball on his own turf, showing good feet, a quick release and an aura of confidence as he smiled all morning.

    ….DRINK!

    http://www.cbssports.com/general/blog/rob-rang/17954409/rg3-continues-push-for-no-1-pick-with-stellar-workout

    • http://twitter.com/cpmack Chris M

      That’s nice and all, but I’ll reserve my week long whiskey bender for when I see how he reacts to 300 pound men breaking through Washington’s line to murder him, and cornerbacks covering the guys that he’s throwing to.

    • acto

      CK,
      On Russell Wilson’s pro day he completed 110% of his passes from an aircraft carrier to a Pee Wee league receiver in the back of a US Navy jet fighter.
      He had The Little Sisters of the Poor as his O-line and he was being rushed by Mighty Joe Young, King Kong, Victor the Wrestling Bear and Jayme Mitchell.

      • Anonymous

        he has the physical requirements (like height, which wilson lacks), has the intangibles (personality, apparent passion for the game), and did do all this great stuff on the field with an actual pass rush in college.

        then he had what is widely viewed as an excellent pro day.

        but nothing he could possible do will satisfy the skeptics. i get it. its annoying, but i get it.

        • acto

          Sorry to annoy you CK,
          I was making another one of my feeble attempts at humor.

          • Anonymous

            my bad. i spent several days arguing with the skeptics and it has left me a broken man, unable to interpret anything positively

        • Anonymous

          jamarcus russell had a great pro day too.. not saying RG3 will be a colossal bust like the purple drank lover, but like acto said, let’s wait and see how he does against NFL competition. in the meantime, nothing is more annoying then shannahan’s shit eating grin he always has. can’t wait for G-Men to knock RG3 the F out..

          • Anonymous

            Correction: nothing is more annoying than people obsessing over pro days. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a QB not having a great pro day; they are pointless.

          • acto

            Good call Biki,
            I really want to see how RG3 performs against the Giants twice this season.
            I like RG3 and I hope he does well, but, I think that JPP has more top end speed and he can catch him trying to turn the corner.

  • Anonymous

    I saw that Vickers video when it was first posted and it instantly made him one of my favorite players of the new Browns era. It’s especially difficult to watch now after watching Marecic bumble around like an idiot last year; he was a huge disappointment imo. I still can’t figure out why a zone blocking team like Houston signed Vickers in the first place; that seemed like a poor fit from day 1. Anyways, hopefully he is utilized more effectively in Dallas, I will be rooting for him.

  • Anonymous

    And then there’s this for all you softies out there, and you know who you are.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltBTxuS8HQw

  • Anonymous

    Speaking of the draft party, will there be crisis counselors on site?

    • http://twitter.com/cpmack Chris M

      Indeed. P and I will be there standing next to the mostly empty bottle of Jameson.

      • Anonymous

        Standing you say? Impressive.

      • Anonymous

        Mostly.

    • Anonymous

      What is it that you think we do here?

      PS: I’m glad to see that you seem to understand that the draft party is #noexcuses this year.

      • Anonymous

        Yes, I did pick up on that. You may be many things, but subtle is not one of them.

        • Anonymous

          I’m subtle in a great many ways, just not with respect to some things, like the sentencing guidelines for certain people who miss the draft party two years in a row.

  • Anonymous

    Every mock draft I have viewed gives me heartburn when it comes to the Browns, as each mock cites slightly different needs/assessments, whereas other teams as I skim through their mock picks, seem to stay within the same basic pattern.

    Now I know we have holes, so I am wondering if these are because these so-called mock ‘experts’ have no clue what our regime even wants, or what?

    The only thing I am sure of is please for the love of God, dont waste #4 on Richardson or (insert QB here).

    That being said, when looking through mock drafts you come across a differing opinion of Cleveland’s #4 pick … DRINK!

    • Anonymous

      oh, the reason I say ‘not Richardson’ is because I feel there are at least 2 other RB’s that fit our need that wont cost as much.

      Ideally: #4: Claiborne; #22: (WR/OL); #37: RB; to infinity and beyond!!! …or well, pick up a LB, another WR, OL, and maybe a DE.

      • Anonymous

        Biggest holes are CB, WR, OLB, and RT. However they want to mix and match is fine, though Claiborne seems like a no-brainer at 4 if we don’t trade down.

  • Anonymous

    On the “report,” is it possible that the three agents were for Luck, RG3, and Kalil? In other words, the guys going 1-2-3 would all prefer not to go 4?

    Because I have a REAL hard time buying that guys slated to go 7-8-9 would not prefer an extra mil or two that comes with going 4. Jerod couldn’t contain himself laughing at the impossibility of this report. I think the Cleveland psyche just kind of manufactures it’s own poison at this point.

    • Anonymous

      i thought the same thing when i heard this. of course 3 guys dont want to go the Browns: it means their value slide (and their rookie pay check)

    • Anonymous

      Jerod seems to be one of the few rational thinking Browns fans/analysts around. That dude needs to get a blog!

    • Believelander

      I think the context was 3 guys saying they didnt want to play for the Browns. I can fully understand that sentiment – the Browns are a hot mess right now and have been for over a decade. If I was on the outaide looking in, I would wonder who I was throwing to/getting throws from etc if I was at a playmaker position.

  • Anonymous

    When are they going to release the Courtney Brown Commemorative Prozac bottles?

  • http://twitter.com/cpmack Chris M

    Heard on the The Fan that one of their twitter posse called out Assclown from the Bleacher Report about his “nobody wants to go to Cleveland” piece. His source, after it was pried from him, is some anonymous troll from the message board on the WaPo website. He actually used that as “a source”.

    And yet people question when I dismiss anything from the Bleacher Report as total horseshit.

    • Jim

      That makes perfect sense seeing as how the “rumor” was completely illogical.

    • Anonymous

      Bleacher Report is for jerks.

    • Anonymous

      Link or it didn’t happen.

      • Believelander

        No, it’s true. When that came out, Baskin and Phelps spent a large portion of yesterday’s show discussing the credibility of sources. So the article quotes a message board post by an individual who heard an offhand remark from the guy at Hooters saying RG3 said this or that.

        Highly credible.

      • http://twitter.com/cpmack Chris M

        Baskin and Phelps spoke about it a good deal, and here’s a tweet.

        the dude cited a MESSAGE BOARD (LOL I heard that nobody wants to play in Cleveland LMAO!) and then Bleacher Report cited that report. So, can we please never take BR seriously again?

  • Chris

    But that Marecic guy is so smart and sure loves football.

    • Anonymous

      Mangini loves him too

  • Anonymous

    Can’t imagine how I would be able to look my Internet moniker in the eye if I didn’t have a go at that fish sando.

  • fohenog

    Recently I was REALLY low on cash and debts were eating me from all sides! That was UNTIL I decided to make money.. on the internet. I went to surveymoneymaker dot net, and started filling in surveys for cash, and surely I’ve been far more able to pay my bills!! I’m so glad, I did this! With all the financial stress these years, I really hope all of you will give it a chance. – ni01

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