Andrew Bynum is a man who doesn’t lie to people at airports

by Cleveland Frowns on July 11, 2013

And Cleveland Frowns is a website that’s two for two with breaking news from the airport:

As for the impact of Bynum on the Cavs, the best case scenario is the Curse of Chief Wahoo and the Curse of Dan Gilbert combined, so we’ll see.

In other news, “every major national science academy in the world [is reporting] that global warming is real, caused mostly by humans, and requires urgent action,” with ”global concentrations of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere hav[ing] reached 394 parts per million, up from 280 ppm before the Industrial Revolution and the highest levels seen in at least 800,000 years.” Miami is already hurtling toward post-apocalyptic Waterworld status thanks to rapidly melting icecaps, and scientists working for the Australian government just issued a report stating that 80 percent of known global fossil fuel reserves (which includes those obtainable by fracking) will have to stay in the ground if destabilizing climate change is to be avoided. Scientists at Oxford have calculated that “the world needs to begin reducing emissions by roughly 2.5 percent per year, starting now.” But despite these warnings and countless others, things are moving full steam in the opposite direction, with carbon emissions having “hit a new record this past year, increasing 3 percent to 34.7 billion metric tons of CO2 and other greenhouse gases,” and the natural gas boom having killed the economic viability of the development of clean and renewable fuel sources.

And it just rained for 16 days in a row in Cleveland, the longest such summer streak in at least 113 years, which was as far back as the Plain Dealer could bother looking.

  • http://www.clevelandfrowns.com/ Cleveland Frowns

    In other other news, raze North Carolina https://twitter.com/ClevelandFrowns/status/355153659622985728

    and raze Section 117 at Progressive Field https://twitter.com/Indians/status/354993668148572160

  • Biff T. Financial

    You should also break the news that Andrew Bynum’s lack of heart is rivaled only by his lack of knee cartilage, and that this signing helps to cement the Cavs’ front office’s status as hands-down the worst in Cleveland. Ta.

    • http://www.clevelandfrowns.com/ Cleveland Frowns

      I would say this is covered under the “Curse of Wahoo and Curse of Gilbert combined” category. But you’re glossing over the possibility that Bynum stays healthy enough to play just well enough to tempt Gilbert into thinking he can prove something by winning a title without LeBron, etc. etc.

    • BIKI024

      we have a lot of depth on this roster, we have plenth of cap space and the risk is definitely worth the reward in Bynum. $6m if he busts? big whoop, we paid that to Luke Walton last year, and several other guys who didn’t even see the floor. we now have 5 legit men to play 96 minutes. even without Bynum i think this team wins 45 with an improved core to attract talent next offseason with a lot of quality FA’s on the open market.

      • Petefranklin

        Will they make the playoffs? Opened 5/1 here with a win total of 30.5. i got lazy and missed both so i get a big fat F. It was 3/1 and 34 and that was before Bynum.

  • p_forever

    also in the “in other news” category – gasland 2 is now showing on hbo – watch it.

    if you haven’t heard about gasland, or gasland 2, they are documentary films about fracking (which falls squarely into frownie’s categories of both “things that every major national science academy agrees is harmful to the environment” and “stuff that really should stay in the ground”). they’re told by josh fox, who’s just a regular guy living in PA that got offered a ridiculous amount of money to lease his mineral rights to a gas company, and wondered why they thought what was underneath his little plot of land was worth so much. hear him talk about it on npr’s fresh air here:

    http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=127593937

    you can watch the trailer for the first gasland movie, and read more about both films, here:

    http://www.gaslandthemovie.com/about-the-film

    all politricks is local, for sure.

    • SeattleBrownsFan
      • bupalos

        That wasn’t fracking. It was just storing some toxic radioactive methane laced chemicals that happened to have visited a frack well. Totally unrelated.

    • BIKI024
      • bupalos

        >>>”This phenomena has been known about for decades and it is exceedingly rare, so it is all about managing risk,” says Steve Everley of Energy in Depth, a fracking industry organization based in Washington. “It’s important to note these are not fracking wells where you see this seismicity, but deep disposal wells, so it is not hydraulic fracturing at work here.”>>>

        These guys are absolutely amazing. Never mind that 2 years ago they were swearing up and down there was 0 percent chance earthquakes had anything to do with injection wells. Now they go for stage 2; Nothing is “hydraulic fracturing” or “fracking” except for the exact moment of pressuring the rock in the well. So if a horizontal well blows out and spews 3 million gallons of radioactive benzene laced splooge all over the landscape later that day, that’s not due to fracking. If an impoundment floods and spills it’s contents and kills all the wildlife in a watershed, that’s not due to fracking. If a holding tank blows up? Not fracking. If methane migrates into your well after a well development? Not fracking. If the flare poisons your air? not fracking. It’s fantastic.

        Tobacco companies were never so bold. They should have claimed cigarettes don’t cause cancer because it’s only SMOKING cigarettes that causes cancer. And it’s not the tar in your lungs that does it, it’s your body’s defective response to that tar. And it’s only long long after they are smoked, anyway.

  • jamick6000

    The cavs will suck in 2014.

  • maxfnmloans

    Chris Broussard could not comment on the interaction between @MSchieman and Andrew Bynum because he does not recognize any interaction between a man and a man

  • bupalos

    The Bynum deal isn’t bad. Between Bynum/Andy we might get 82 games of competent center/centerish play. I have us figured for a 6 seed. Bynum/Andy is a good cap space holder for LBJ ’14 if that scenario should come to pass.

    It’s nearly as important for us that LBJ leave Miami for anywhere as that he come here, because that team melting would mean a lotto pick for Cleveland in ’15.

    In local global warming news, the metropolis of Garrettsville flooded for the only time in the 17 or so years I’ve been out this way, submerging a used car lot over the windshields. And in local local local global warming news, the first floor of Casa del Bupalos flooded an inch >>>despite being on top of a hill>>> due to our stream flash flooding. And as is predictable, my mildly right wing neighbor has now gone from denying GW to the new line that it’s too late to do anything about it anyway.

    http://www.newsnet5.com/gallery/weather/weather_photo_gallery/photos-storms-and-damage-across-northeast-ohio#

    • jamick6000

      i am worried that if Bynum works out well, we might miss out on the best lottery in years, though I don’t think that will happen.
      The cavs will suck in 2014.

      • bupalos

        Playing for the lotto is a suckers game. Trying to time the right year to play for the lotto is doubly so. I’m pretty sure once this thing meshes a bit we’ll be on track to a 6 seed in the illustrious east if either Andy or Bynum can play significant games. Which will be fun in and of itself.

        And the young core plus Bron plus a 15 lotto from Miami plus a 6-16 from Memph in 14 or 15 would be potential dynasty stuff.

        • jamick6000

          i agree with many of your posts, but this second paragraph, come on.

          Also, our “young core” is not that good and is always hurt too. It’s not just Andy and Bynum who are injury prone.

  • dwhalen

    this is fun. like the stock market. you sell, i’ll buy. one wins, one loses. exciting stuff.

  • alexb

    1) I’m not in the twilight zone right? Ole Angel eyes is a Cleveland sports fan? seriously what in the all fuck?
    2) I like the Bynum deal. This is Cleveland so the downside is merely the status quo..big deal. Even though I’m not terribly keen on Lebron coming back….maybe the addition of Bynum gives us a solid base that Lebron might want to come back and actually “stay”. What we can’t do is fuck around with the LBJ in ’14. Either he likes the team and wants to commit to us and tells us that early, or we say cya and pursue what else is out there. I absolutely do not want to see the Cavs left holding their dicks again cause that asshole meme strung out his decision all fucking summer. If you don’t want to come back to Cleveland, fucking say so and say so early. Fuck.

    • alexb

      can anyone explain to the whole van cleef thing?

  • Lhoard94

    Now rain is bad? Cleveland could use some warmer weather.

  • Benson

    What ever happened to the ozone disappearing? The global warming of the 80s and 90s…

    • bearcowan17

      Conflating the two issues isn’t accurate. If you really want to know how the ozone issue was resolved, do a quick Google search

    • nj0

      You do realize you’re advocating for environmentally minded regulation, right?

      “The phasing out of nearly 100 substances once used in products like refrigerators and aerosols has stopped the ozone layer being depleted further, although it is not yet increasing, according to a new United Nations report released last week.”

      http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1313599/Ozone-layer-longer-disappearing-return-strength-2048.html

  • Algore

    This site is like MSNBC disguised as a Cleveland sports blog. Start with Bynum end with global warming lol???

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